In our daily prayers we recite, “May we always revere God in private and in public, may we be truthful in our dealings, and may we be honest with ourselves.”

For many people, it’s hard to revere God. For all too many people, it’s hard to be truthful. But it’s probably impossible to be honest with ourselves.

A new book by the evolutionary biologist Robert Trivers, The Folly of Fools (Basic Books, 2011) is sub-titled “The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life.” Trivers explains why we are programmed to fool others, and how the process be- gins by fooling ourselves.

To sum up the thesis: Impressing other people helps us get ahead in life. It is in our self-interest to appear as capable and as smart as possible. In order to convince others of our talents, we unconsciously convince ourselves of our talents. This is human nature at its most subtle and cunning: People truly believe that they are wonderful in some ways that go beyond all rational assessment. They are not aware of this discrepancy. They are merely doing what nature programs us to do — trying to get ahead.

Let me offer an illustration. Surveys always reveal that more than 50% of the respondents consider themselves in the top half of their group. One study of academics (teachers, from whom we expect some sophistication) had 94% of them saying that they were in the top half of good teachers.

Now, maybe there are different ways to measure things. But we all understand enough math to know that it is impossible for anything other than 50% of a group to be in the top half of the group. Studies of self-assessment of one’s abilities and performance always yield the same result: People think better of themselves than any other metric ever suggests.

This is self-deception. Remember, we’re not talking about people who pad their resumé or the like. Those behaviors involve conscious deception. Trivers’ book, rather, is all about the deeply-embedded ways that we unconsciously fool ourselves. This, my friends, is a big problem for a people who are mandated to “always be honest with ourselves.”

What can we do if Professor Trivers is correct? As one of my favorite Jewish thinkers says, “I don’t know.” It seems to me that our genes control us more than we control our genes. But that is not my only word nor my last word on the subject. As Rabbi Akiva said, albeit about a different topic entirely, “it’s a special blessing to us if we KNOW what’s going on.”

If we know that we probably spend a lot of time unwittingly fooling ourselves, at least we might look in the mirror and, instead of seeing an incredibly gorgeous human being gazing back at us, we might try to ponder other ways of thinking and acting. There is a folly of fools, but we needn’t fully fall for it. Humility, self-awareness and openness to a wide range of opinions are very fine virtues for us flawed human beings. “Let us always be honest with ourselves.”